Use the period from when you meet whether it starts out online or in the ‘real world’ as an opportunity for you both to discover the ‘facts’ about one another and assimilate whether you want to progress…or opt out.

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I didn’t want to mention it for the same reason that Tom didn’t want to mention it in his profile: because it’s irrelevant to anything that makes him a good accountant, husband, or father. He’s just been confronted with a very ugly reality that has shaken his confidence in people.

Yet his height defines him, since it has prevented otherwise interested women from being interested in him over the course of his entire life. Okay, I’m kidding about the last part, but only because I’m so serious about the rest of this. And even though we had good initial results, the fact remains, empirically: women don’t want short men.

If you’re a regular reader, you probably knew that I was on the CBS Early Show in July. We wrote two new profile essays that were unique, funny and confident.

Appearing with me was one of my all-time favorite clients, Tom Pandolfo. We renamed him “Look Ma No Hair.” And we watched as his in-box filled up with interested women.

I’m sure that makes you guys feel great – knowing that you were the only person capable of bringing out the worst in us.

Knowing that we’re not really interested in what you had to go through to heal or in knowing how you’ve moved on, all we want is to be able to sleep peacefully at night knowing that you know it wasn’t us now, it was us at that time in our lives or, it wasn’t us at all, it was you (don’t worry we forgive you).

However, unless you’re superficial or living in Lala Land, the point of dating is to build on the attraction, get to know the person, and ensure that whatever ideas and assumptions you have are grounded in reality.

You need more than physical and sexual attraction – you should be getting an initial sense of their values and whether they treat you with care, trust and respect, and of course match words with actions.

If you’re not getting to know them or you are, and are experiencing things that are at the very least proceed with caution signals or at their worst, full on abort mission signals, this is because you’ve already decided to commit, regardless.