Dating after breakup hard
If I could go back in time, I'd deal with the pain of my breakup head-on: I'd let myself cry when I needed to cry, and I'd start therapy even sooner.Doing those two things alone contributed more toward my healing than any rebound ever could.Don’t key his car, kidnap his cat, or destroy his stuff. Maybe you’d just rather be in a bad relationship than be in no relationship at all. Learn what you can from the relationship that just ended and move forward. Be thankful that the wrong relationship ended to free you up for the right one.
I thought that if I couldn't find a new relationship (and fast) after my breakup, something had to be wrong with me.
Here's the problem with that: Dating so much left little time for me to do the three things I actually needed to do before jumping into a new relationship: heal, process, and grow.
Whether you “consciously uncoupled” or were heartlessly dumped out of the blue, any kind of parting ways can sting. Very rarely can a breakup lead to a solid friendship, and until you’re okay with the idea of your ex dating someone new — and vice versa — you’re not ready to be pals.
There are healthy ways to deal with your grief, which is real and vaild, but there are also things that can trip you up and postpone healing. Create intentional space for a while and let yourself mourn the end of the relationship.
You may have been deeply wronged, but “getting even” won’t heal any wounds. Carry your head high and spend your energy on people who deserve it. Many people feel lost after a breakup; not because they miss their ex, but because so many of their daily habits once revolved around someone else. Give yourself two rules: Don’t post anything about the breakup drama online, no matter how vague, and resist the urge to stalk your ex. One major change in your life can inspire even more change.
You broke up last week, but you still “have thoughts” you want to process with the ex. “Defriending” or at least hiding statuses can help you avoid the constant temptation to check in and see if your ex is living a life more miserable — or worse, more awesome — than yours. If you have a tattoo-design epiphany in the days following heartache, wait a few months before acting on it. Hair grows back, but be warned: a bad bowl cut can hurt your already-bruised confidence. You don’t have to sob at the office, but take some quiet moments to reflect and be honest with yourself. It’s healthier to express yourself honestly than grow numb. The temptation may be to pretend you’re unaffected by the breakup; don’t let pride get in the way of being real.Don’t lose heart: you will move on in time, find a love better suited for you, and all of this will be a memory. If your ex is pushing for friendship, stand your ground if you’re uncomfortable with the idea.In the meantime, when mourning the end of a relationship, be sure to avoid the following “don’ts” of breakup etiquette, which can just end up harming you more. Right now, you’re not looking for a friend who looks exactly like the person who broke your heart.Each one of us is unique in the ways we heal, process, and grow.