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Amy behaved like a human who happens to have a penchant for data, but she didn’t behave like the kind of algorithm sites like e Harmony and Ok Cupid are using to suggest potential dates to you.
At the end of her TED talk, Amy concludes that “There is an algorithm for love, it’s just not the ones we’re being presented with.” This is obviously a fantastic sound bite, but I think it creates a false sense of reliance on algorithms.
4) Make sure every single damn photo of you is fantastically flattering yet realistic, and especially pay attention to the main one.
I hate to make generalizations, but it’s true demographically speaking.
I know; being this damn charming is harder than it sounds! Note that I write waaaay more in my blog and newsletter than I do in my clients’ profiles.) Amy also states that “non-specific language” is a hallmark of solid online daters, but I utterly disagree here!
The idea of making matches based on practical compatibility components has been around for generations.
However, traditional matchmaking also evolved in a world when marriage was vitally important to society in a way that it no longer is.
We should treat our 20’s as practice for having a normal, healthy relationship in our 30’s, rather than a time to sleep around, date assholes, and not get serious about anything.
I’ve mentioned Amy Webb before, and her book Data: A Love Story.
The guys she liked didn’t write her back, and her own profile attracted less-than-desirable prospects.
So naturally, she turned it into a data experiment and geeked out on spreadsheets.
And hey, there are going to be a handful of people for whom Amy’s Way is a total home run.
But for the others, here’s a strategy for online dating success, combining Amy Elements and Virginia Advice: 1) Reflect on yourself and what you want out of a life partner, but don’t let those metrics take over your search for love completely.
6) Eventually fall in love with someone who seemingly meets and then ultimately exceeds your criteria—BECAUSE YOU CLICK IN PERSON, and because you’ve had enough data-driven analysis and measured exposure to lesser candidates that you recognize what value this person brings to the table, even if they weren’t someone you would have picked out of a lineup.